We Matter, Too: Why Women Need Pause & Space
We live in a world that often expects women to hold everything together. We look after sick partners, tend to ageing parents, care for children, juggle work, manage homes… the list goes on. And while we do this because we care deeply, because love and responsibility run strong, it takes its toll.
That’s not “woe is us” — it’s reality. And part of honouring that reality is recognising that we matter, too.
What UK Statistics Tell Us
Here are some truths borne out by recent UK research:
There are around 5.7 million unpaid carers in the UK — people giving care to a relative or friend without pay.
Women provide unpaid care more often than men: about 59% of carers in England and Wales are women.
In England, approximately 10.3% of women provide unpaid care, compared with 7.6% of men. In Wales, the numbers are roughly 12% of women vs 9% of men.
Many women act as “sandwich carers” — caring for both older or sick family members and for children. These dual responsibilities increase the risk of poorer mental health.
Sources:
Carers UK, "Key Facts and Figures about Caring"
Office for National Statistics, "Unpaid Care by Age, Sex and Deprivation, England and Wales: Census 2021"
Why This Matters
Caring is a beautiful, generous thing. But it’s also demanding, physically, emotionally, mentally. When we never pause, never have space that’s just ours — burnout creeps in. Sometimes it’s subtle: persistent tiredness, anxiety, feeling stretched too thin. Sometimes it’s more obvious: health suffers, mood dips, resilience drops.
If we let this go too long, the cost is huge — for us, for our families, for our dreams.
Creating Healthy Boundaries: Because We're Important Too
Here are some reminders, and gentle encouragements:
Claim small pockets of time — even 15 or 20 minutes a day. Read, walk, dance, rest. Do something just for you.
Ask for help — with housework, childcare, errands. Let others share the load.
Set boundaries — say no when you need to. You don’t have to do everything.
Stay connected — friends, groups, whatever nurtures you. Sometimes just speaking out loud about being overwhelmed helps more than you expect.
Prioritise sleep, rest, joy — these are not luxuries, they are essentials.
A Note on the Statistics
When I first looked at the stats, I was surprised — I expected the percentage of women caring to be even higher than 59%. But looking deeper, it makes sense why the numbers aren’t as high as we might think:
Intensity of care: Women often provide high-intensity care or long hours per week. The basic stat “% caring at all” doesn’t capture the real load.
Definition of caring: Stats usually count formal caring for long-term illness, disability, or old age. Many invisible tasks — emotional support, household help, mental health support — are under-counted.
Age differences: Caring percentages rise sharply in certain age groups. Women in their 50s and 60s are much more likely to be carers than younger women, so averages across all ages can feel lower.
Invisible caring: Everyday care that isn’t reported — running errands, daily support, mental health care — often doesn’t show up in official stats.
So even though the headline number is 59%, the reality of women’s unpaid care is much broader and deeper. This makes taking time for ourselves even more important — because our wellbeing is the foundation for everything else we do.
Final Thought
We’re expected to be carers, supporters, planners, fixers. But we’re also human. We’re allowed to need rest, space, laughter, time. When we put ourselves last, everything else slowly suffers — including the people we love. When we take care of ourselves, we give more not because we're stronger, but because we're more grounded, healthier, more able to show up as the person we want to be.
So let’s meet ourselves with kindness. Let’s recognise our worth. Let’s give ourselves permission to breathe.
